I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
