Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
