I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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