'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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