Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
