You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize