I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
