I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
