is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
