Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i barfeds in our rink
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
