My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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