I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
