Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just had sex on a roof
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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