Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
