im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF