physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today