Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
