new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
