guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
