You can't motorboat a personality
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
