I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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