I love black thongs
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
