I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
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Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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