If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Even my vagina gasped.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
