I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
