There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
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I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
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well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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