It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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