i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
