You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
