may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
