Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize