i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
