He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
