I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
