WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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