i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize