come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize