just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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