Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We have started to decorate penises.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
