one might say we're banned from that church
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
