final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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