His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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