Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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