Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Randomize
