i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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