just come out here and I will go home with you...
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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