I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
