he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
