problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
