Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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