Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you had me at cake vodka
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just had sex on a roof
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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