Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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