3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
