There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
