I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My vagina just recognized that song.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
