hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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