she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize