There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
