it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This is classic penis vs brain.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
