I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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