why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
