Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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