sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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